On Lessons from Grandma ...

This lovely lady exudes joy and always has since my wee memory can recall...She has always contributed to my wellness and continues to do so at 95 years old! So it made most sense for my first post to about her.

What inspired this? Well, recently on a rainy, dreary Saturday when I was just getting over a terrible migraine, I went to visit my Grandma Ona. How can you not smile at that joy filled face?!

Although she has not known who I am for a good three years now, she is as warm and happy as I've ever remembered her. She developed dementia in her mid-80's, and three years ago after my big-hearted dad could no longer care for her, she went into a home where her needs could be better met. And she really couldn't be more pleased....How do I know this?

Well, every time I see her she has a smile on her face, is laughing more than not, and being kind to each person who crosses her path. True story is that she doesn't speak a word of English anymore-only Lithuanian, but has made a ton of friends through her warm, hilarious, non-verbal communication. It's incredible! She might be the coolest kid on the street in the there (just sayin'...absolutely no bias here...).

So it got me thinking, after a few hours of laughs, hugs and some chatting, why is my 95 year old grandma so happy? And how has she carried this joy throughout her life? Pre-dementia, these qualities I name were just as profound and obvious.

And this is a woman who has been through her share of heart ache and trauma. After fleeing to Canada during World War 2 following much brutality and trauma after Lithuania was invaded, my grandma came to Canada with nothing but her sister and the clothes on her back. From there, she worked in a factory making 10 cents a day sorting plastic and then moving on to care for kids in a hospital...Later in life, she lost her youngest son when he was 33 and her husband just a few years following. I feel these are pertinent parts of her story because her wellness is not from leading a life of ease and privilege. She's been through mucky, tough, horrible stuff.

So what have I learned from her about being well and keeping your joy? Here it goes:

1. Respect and appreciate nature.

   We literally call her 'Mother Nature' because she was known to feed the bees piles of sugar and help racoons escape from traps!

2. Move every day.

   My grandma has never stepped foot in a gym, but the lady has and is always on the move! She would rake leaves, walk, pull weeds, and dance! It's important to note she is amidst the most mobile on her unit to this day.

3. Laugh often.

   Cliche, I know. But a truth! This lady would laugh; I'm talkin' guttural laughter with tears coming down her face. And she still does! Half the time I don't know what she's saying these days, but her hearty laugh is certainly contagious.

4. Don't take life too seriously.

   ...it realllly isn't worth it in the end. Worry about what warrants worry-and move on and let go of what doesn't. And if you don't know the difference, get help to find out! Serious stuff will come up in life that is difficult and awful and hard...so learn the different between the everyday stuff that's taking up room versus the tough stuff that you'll be thrusted into with no choice but seriousness.

5. Carry compassion in your heart.

   My grandma has a compassionate soul. She would feed the bees, mend any wound, and feel sadness for the people she would hear about on the news who had experienced horrible things like war, car accidents, death.

6. Take good care of yourself.

   Eat real food and eat it slowly, move, only take medicine if it's absolutely needed, limit booze and other stuff that's not ideal for you, get good sleeps, use natural stuff to heal whenever possible (she would infuse straight alcohol with garlic and take a tablespoon a day...and was never on an ounce of medication until her 90's..true story!) and use a good quality cream on your face.

   And lastly but certainly not least...

7. Take good care of the people you love.

   Cook them delicious, real meals....hug them often...help them smile when they need it...sit down and listen to them when the need it...model good self care...prioritize them and their time...mend their wounds with bandaids and love...make them laugh and laugh with them...and always always greet them with the kinda delight that makes them feel they're the only person in the room.

Whoa...writing that was nostalgic and wonderful. I am one lucky lady to have her in my life.